"The reason you're stuck.."
Violet says. "...you spend too much time in your comfort zone."
Violet is a friend. She
scares me.
"I walk around
feeling uneasy, dislocated and alienated. Is this
my comfort zone?” I say.
"That's your comfort
zone…”
“It feels uncomfortable."
“The uncomfortable is
your comfort zone."
"So outside of my
comfort zone. How am I supposed to feel?"
"Uncomfortable," Violet says.
“I already feel
uncomfortable. So I’m always out of my comfort zone. Job done.” I say.
“You feel uncomfortable
with the comfortable which makes you feel uncomfortable. You need to feel
uncomfortable without the comfortable which will make you feel uncomfortable in
a different way. You need to rezone your comfort zone.”
"...rezone
for..."
"...the
uncomfortable..." she says.
"...which is what I
already feel..."
"...which is your
comfort zone..."
"...of course...”
“…exactly...”
“Do you think everyone
has a comfort zone?” I say.
“Yes.”
"...so you
mean...okay...so how about…people in the camps like Aushwitz what was their
comfort zone? Because it probably wasn't very comfortable."
"Are you comparing
yourself to the people in the camps? You’re uncomfortable. They’re
uncomfortable. I should smack you.”
“You are forbidden from applying The Smack.”
“It would get you out of
your comfort zone.”
“It would hurt.”
“How about just once. On
the fat part of the cheek,” she says.
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“You make things up.
Everybody has a fat part of the cheek,” Violet says.
“What about the people in
the camps? I’ve seen pictures. No fat part.”
“Now I’m gonna smack you. Ready?”
“We’re in a crowded
Starbucks.”
“Here it comes.”
“I’ll leave.”
“It’s on it’s way," she says.
“Okay, no. Stop.”
“How do you feel?”
“Extremely anxious and
stressed.”
“Which is out of your
comfort zone.”
“…of merely anxious and
stressed.”
“The smacking hand rests.
Mission accomplished.”
We finished our coffees in silence. Violet leaves. She has to go study. I call my therapist. Ask if she can squeeze me in. For
another session. Today.